Smack-dab in the middle of this unimaginable human tragedy there is a transformation happening. A kind of reclamation of who we are, and how we want to show up in the world.
At least that’s what’s been happening for me.
I’ve spent most of my life focusing my time and energy on the things that were never really important to me. I believed that if I worked hard enough, achieved more, bought more, ate more, loved more, got a bigger and better…whatever…at the end of the day, I could say I lived a great life. That way of living has cost me a great deal.
- Missed memories with family and friends during the most important times of their lives.
- Quality time I’ll never get back with my grandma as her life was coming to an end.
- The miracle of having a child as I let building a business take over my life until the clock had just simply run out.
That never-ending search for more has never been more evident (and more bankrupt) than right now. Suddenly, there’s nowhere to escape as all access to vices have been halted and confronting the limitations of our own humanity has become a daily ritual.
Journey to Self
That confrontation started for me several months ago when I took my road trip across the country. What started out as a way to escape from my reality, and the pressure’s I’d put on my career and marriage, quickly became a 2-month reflection in the mirror. There’s nothing like 8 to 10-hour drives on the open road to bring you back to all the parts of yourself you used to run from.
Whether it was the past I thought I’d buried or the future I feared had passed me by, I was able to look at myself in a way I hadn’t before. I started to experience the space between who I am and who I thought everyone needed me to be. I hit the pause button between my work and my play, and suddenly, the lines between the routines of the day were obliterated allowing me to create myself from anew.
Through that experience I was able to come back to my true self. The one that I’d been running from all along. The little girl that just wanted to be loved…and I was finally able to give her that love she’d been searching for.
Part of my journey back to love meant I needed to finally confront my name. The name I had run from all my life – Adamina.
I can still remember being teased in high school when a so-called friend sang my name over and over at the top of his lungs “Adamina – Nicki – Lucks, Adamina – Nicki – Lucks…” I just wanted to disappear into my locker and never come out.
What is an “Adamina” you might ask?!? The name is the female version of Adam and it means “daughter of the earth” (my mom was a hippie and if you want to learn more about her, I wrote about her here).
So, I’m on this epic road trip across this incredible country of ours and I start becoming extremely inspired by nature. I realize how disconnected from mother nature I’d been. How it’s so easy to think of nature as something separate from us and forget that we are a PART of nature itself. How we don’t do enough to bring the natural elements into our homes and offices and how that leaves us feeling unbalanced and disconnected from source. I realized that part of what I’m really passionate about is helping others find that natural balance again (much more on that to come).
Bottom line is that on that trip, I finally got the purpose of my name. I am the daughter of the earth, just like we all are sons and daughters of the earth. It felt good to just stand in that knowing and embrace the fullness of who I am and to clearly see the larger purpose of my life!
Only after standing in that full acceptance of myself, was I able to then re-choose the playful energy of the name “Mina” again. Not because it’s what people already knew me as. Not because it’s easier for people to remember, or because it looks better on a nametag, but simply because it’s what I choose to be called. It’s fun, it’s playful, and it’s me.
Claiming Our Gifts
Reclaiming myself…all the parts of myself has been quite the adventure. Countless insights and funny tales from the road will attest that it hasn’t always been easy. One thing’s for sure, I’m most certainly not done, and neither are you.
We’ve all been given this unimaginable set of circumstances that, as terrifying and tragic as they are, is also an opportunity to go deeper. Let this be the start of our own inner road trip – a time to find our paths by taking off the masks of who we’ve always known ourselves to be and rediscover, reinvent and reshape ourselves into what we know is possible.
As we fight our way out of our collective cocoon and discover our own unique cadence in this upside-down world, know that I honor you exactly where you are. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and somehow finding your way back to what’s truly important in your life.
Enjoy the journey,